The catalyst is life… There is an old proverb that says, “Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.” It is in my darkest hours, I am reminded of that passage. I try not to think about the losses I have endured, rather the love and wisdom I have gained. Truly there is no heart more pitiful than the one that could not mend itself; and maybe because my heart is bruised and battered, having withered the storms of life, it has since grown stronger to bear what else life has to edify me.
I suppose I could have written about any topic… politics, health or even poetry; but today I chose a more philosophical, introspective reflection of the life I have led. From my humble upbringing in a culturally-diverse family to the woman I have become… the individual who never gave up even when the world appeared to have forsaken her. Time and time again, I have been down this road. I have been beaten by life’s endless stream of apparent brutality, only to stand back up, brush off the dust, and say, “What else have you got for me?” I do not know why I was chosen to receive so many challenges and lessons, and maybe it is not even my place to question the why’s or the how’s. Maybe the question is more so about the way I perceive them and what I internalize and how they have forced me to overcome my own fears, my own inhibitions. Conceivably there are those who will falter to the wayside because their hearts are simply not strong enough. It is the individual, having innate determination to keep on going even when external forces seem overpowering, who transform into that butterfly.
This hardened cocoon resolves to crack its shell to break free from the human perils of living. It is in that freedom where I have painted a vision in my mind like no other. Within its landscape is a beautiful rolling valley, lush green and filled with a kaleidoscope of blossoming flora. There are no hardships, only harmony and happiness. Along the corridors of that image are the many souls who have touched my life with their love and energy. They are there to embrace me as they always have in the past. Perhaps this time is different, though. There is a transcendence as to what I had felt so many times before… a certain humbleness and awareness now that tells me, “No, the world is not over. It is time to be that butterfly.” Indeed, it is time.
The Butterfly and I
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