Posted by: CarolAnn | October 25, 2010

Autumn and Nostalgia

There comes that time in the year when I sit on my front porch and simply soak in the view of nature. The trees by now have turned brilliant colors of red, orange and yellow…and in some instances have begun shedding most of their precious petals. Every now and then I catch a glimpse of the winter cardinals as they begin nesting in the nearby woods. Squirrels, too begin scavenging in the yard for fallen acorns and whatnots. Even if I do not see them, I know they are there. The sounds of rustling leaves beneath their tiny feet give wake to the sounds of harvest season. Such a familiar scene, I am thinking. My memory bank has replayed this picture so many times.

Just for a few seconds, I drift back into the playground of my life. I was such a small child but I recall jumping and frolicking in piles of autumn leaves. I can still hear the crumpling and salt-shaker sounds as I once used to play. Even when the skies were overcast grey, and the cool breeze would nip at my ears and nape, I did not have a care in the world.  What a magnificent time it was so many years ago.

But then as quickly as the scene was flashing across my mind’s eye, I find myself amidst a new century…a new millennium even. What happened to those yesteryears so seemingly ancient now? A time when the heavens appeared to go for miles and miles without end? Where trees were as tall as giants, and grownups plainly did not understand or have a clue as to what I was thinking. In my mind, I was a princess, a fairy and even a frog. I could climb mountains, leap tall buildings and it was a huge accomplishment if I could tight-rope walk a two-foot wall. I was not thinking about the consequences of a fall, nor did I ever imagine that I would fall. I was simply being me. I could do anything. I was invincible…and invisible if I tried hard enough.

CarolAnn Bailey-Lloyd

Yet, suddenly in a blink of an eye, here I am. Sitting on my front porch again, peering at the leaves as they trickle down upon my swing and at my feet. They are still as colorful and as crisp as the time when I was much younger. The skies still carry the overcast grey and swollen clouds. I am no longer that child, but my heart pines for the simplicity and uninhibited era that was an endless exploration. There was no rheumatoid arthritis, no hypertension, no physical limitations…only the strength and fortitude of where my small legs could carry me. It was a wondrous time. It was a joyful time. Then I realize that the joy and wonder have been with me all along. Despite the many issues at hand, I am still that little girl. I am still that dreamer of yesterday. I still have that little light of uninhibited nature and simplicity that keeps my life in check. Because without it, I would not be here today. Without it, I would not appreciate the beauty and marvel that still is in the nature that surrounds me. In what do you find the small child in you?


Thanks for reading…


Autumn and Nostalgia

By CarolAnn Bailey-Lloyd

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