Posted by: CarolAnn | January 6, 2010

NDE…and I didn’t die once

After my father passed away in 2005, I was absolutely devastated. I was just 34 years old and didn’t know how I was going to survive without my mentor and 24-7 comedic reliever. Each day I’d receive a call from my father, “Want to hear a good joke?” How I miss those avid rings from the man who I was proud to call my dad.

It wasn’t until after he crossed to the other side, that I’d started receiving some profound messages. Call it intuition, call it psyche, call it vision, or call it anything you like – but I prefer to call it a Near Death Experience. I speculate that the strong bond I had with my father bared some weight into the reasoning as to why I encountered what I did. And I won’t soon forget the experience because it was so authentic and vivid.

About two weeks after my father died, I began having vibrant dreams. I only call them dreams because they just so happened to occur while I was asleep in bed. However, I strongly suspect that these were more than just “dreams” because the lucidity was so evident. I am also a firm believer in the fact that two worlds can coexist at the same time in a parallel dimension – meaning that while we may not be able to physically see or touch an object in our present plane of view does not mean that heaven…rather, “Nirvana” (as he called it) can’t subsist just a breath away (as with other dimensions of time and destination).

Without going deep into quantum physics, I’m merely going to elaborate as to what I saw and experienced in one of the many “dreams” I had after my dad passed away. My NDE began as a happy dream where I met my father atop a green hilltop. I recall feeling so overjoyed being able to stand alongside him once again. It wasn’t until well into the dream that I began to comprehend that my father could not verbally speak to me. In fact, the only communicating that my dad did with me was via telepathic speaking. It was as if I could hear his thoughts, as well he could hear mine. So we began a succinct conversation about where we were at that precise moment in time. (…If you can call it time; because in the dream there was no real aspect of time or space.) As I looked ahead of me, I could see rolling, vibrant and lush valleys of green fields, a healthy assortment of towering trees, and I could not tell where the sky met the earth or the where the earth met the sky. In fact, there was an abundance of assorted translucent colors. If you could imagine, the colors appeared to be as if one were to peer through a kaleidoscope or prism. They were wondrous…no, unimaginably beautiful and robust. There is no site on earth that I’ve ever seen (and I’ve seen a lot) that could compare to the wonderment of this “sky.”

Suddenly, I looked down at my feet and I realized that I was not even standing atop the hill, but was levitating just inches from the ground. “My God!” I thought…and as I lipped the words, my dad turned to me and nodded as if to say, “Yes.” I glanced back at my father as if to question “Where are we? What is this place?” He did not say “Heaven;” nor did he say, “Utopia.” But as audible to the naked intuition as it came, was that beautiful term, “Nirvana.”

While I stood in silent rapture, I could feel the Divine love of a thousand angelic beings wrapping their warm arms around me. Though I never saw them, the feeling I experienced was implied. For that instant, I did not want to leave. I could feel such profound love that cannot be explained by any other means. My dad then turned to me and again spoke telepathically to me. He explained that this is as it was…and that love was all we are. In that second…in that instant, I did not fear death – nor did I fear what was to come. Then I awoke.

What I saw in that spatial divide of time and eternity can be recreated again and again by those who’ve experienced a Near Death Experience…but I was the fortunate one, who was able to connect with a spirit from the other side without ever having died. He showed me the purity of spiritual love and that “Nirvana” does exist to those who believe. Today, I still have no fear of death because the beauty and Divine love that I felt in that parallel dimension of reality has given me pause to understand that we are all energetic beings … all interconnected by a supernatural thread of awareness with just enough spark of humanity to love, to laugh, to cherish, to explore, to cry, to mourn, and to transcend all these humanly thoughts and deeds. There is abundance in love. There is abundance in life. And when we finally understand that we are only here for the journey, then we can begin to live with open eyes.
Peace & happiness…

CarolAnnBSocial Media Sorceress and More

UPDATED:  Below is as close a representation as I could draw of what “Nirvana” appeared to look like in the dream.  This is just a relatively small glimpse of a wide horizon that stretched from here to eternity:

"Nirvana" by CarolAnn Bailey-Lloyd (Digital, Mouse-drawn art)



  1. fantastic dream of reality.
    I had a similar dream
    I had a dream that I dies and went to heaven. I was
    > meet by Jesus with open
    > arms as I approached him. The next instant He was
    > towering over me like a
    > father and I had my arms rapped around his legs. I
    > was looking out at pure
    > white clouds. There were so brilliant that you would
    > think it would hurt
    > your eyes but it didn’t. I remember thinking that I
    > had no needs or wants
    > and that all I wanted to do was be there with Jesus,
    > especially because the
    > Love I felt was greater and more powerful than I can
    > describe or have ever
    > felt in this lifetime. He said , ” You know you have
    > to go back now” Like a
    > child I whined and said ” Why, I want to stay here
    > with you. He said ”
    > because you haven’t done what you were meant to do.
    > I asked what that was
    > and he said ” I want you to go back and preach the
    > word of God. At that
    > moment I woke up.
    I can understand what Love you felt. There is no Love on Earth like that! I send you more of His Love!
    Love , Tom

  2. Thank you, Tom…and thank you for always sharing your light and inspiration with the world. 🙂

  3. Fantastic stuff CarolAnn. Great writing too.

  4. TY Kyle…glad you enjoyed. Sometimes life offers a rare glimpse of what it’s all about, after all. 🙂

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